Porn On the Cob

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porno Hello there, my name is Dru and I am one of the members of Porn on the Cob. We really don't have big schlongs, but it was the first thing that came to our heads as an album title. I mean come on, we're naked on the cover, ya know?

porno I'm going to try to tell the tale of our little band-joke, but I don't know where to begin. Me and Noah have been playing guitar together for quite some time now. It was always a boring afternoon situation. I'd come over after school and we just played guitar together, but we weren't very good. We kept playing and we started thinking and playing alike so we started creating songs. I eventually brought my drums over and we started playing in the basement and the garage.

porno Noah is part of student council and was in the process of organizing a Battle of the Bands deal. We wanted to get together and play some songs for fun, but we didn't have time to practice. We missed out on the battle of the bands, so we decided to get a band together anyways. We called up our friend, Josh Jones, from Tamaqua to play bass and we asked Labarre to sing. Josh is a good bass player, he has a PA, and a cool garage to play in, and yes, he's a big dumbass just like Noah and I. We got Labarre to sing because he has a great voice, and he's the craziest bastard I know. We started playing some originals and then we stopped practicing due ot Josh's dad being a penis. So, we stoppped playing altogether. Me and Noah sustained playing.

porno After a short break, me and noah discovered a computer program which recorded multi-track music. We hooked up my old-as-your-grandma mixer, and we jammed out some stuff. Our initial idea was to make a senior project. We started working on that and we got fed up and started making dumb songs. I mean, we eventually did the damn project, but we focused more on the dumb music. Anyways, noah hit record, I started playing a riff, and we started singing about jews. We couldn't believe the funny ass lyrics we were coming up with off the top of our heads'. That night we created a few more songs, and they were so funny we had to call our friends over to hear them. We created a few more songs that night, and then we burned them onto a cd for our own personal record. We then made more for another a cd and it started becoming a hobbie. The first cd was really short, but had a few good songs. People in school started hearing it and they thought it was funny, so we kept it up. After making the second cd, we decied to make both cds into one, hence the first self titled cd.

porno We didn't plan on selling any cds until this recent cd, "We really have big schlongs, honest." Anyways, Labarre heard our cds and he loved them, and listened to them all of the time. I'd get out of my car in the morning at school, and he'd come rolling in with the "reeh rahh" song BLASTING. He got out of the car and started singing it across the parking lot. We saw his enjoyment and had him up for a song. We came up with a good song, so then on we had him sing with us for every song, and this album turned out to be a huge sucess. hehe.

porno So, to get our name out a little bit, we played at the senior assembly. Now, for all of you that saw us, don't even think for a second that we play music like that. Our music is very gross, vulgar, and just in really bad taste. heh. We sing about sex, masturbation, and any other thing that comes out. We hit record, and it's complete improv, NO REHERSING. It's freestyling to an acoustic guitar. That's why it comes out so messed up, and doesn't make sence sometimes. That's basically our story. There isn't much to it but a few kids who just like to make stupid-humor songs. We have our friends sit in a lot, and we make fun of Brandon Snyder a lot. He's our friend, he knows it's all a joke. It was a thing for a friend, but we figured we would let you all out there here it too. I hope you think it's as funny as us, if not, oh well. We tried. hah. So, don't think we're gross, or messed up. It's just all in good humor, and it's totally off the top of our heads. Record, play, sing....That's it...

porno Thanks for hitting the page so often, and thanks a lot for buying our cds. Don't worry, we're not making shit off of the sales. We're just doing it so we can keep buying cds and selling more. We suck, but oh well. If you have a good sense of humor, you'll think it's funny. If not, stop being so uptight. Anways, thanks to Noah and Labarre, Steber for making this page, and all the people that bought the cd, especially our friends. I know I made so many typing errors, but i'm tired and distracted. Steber, Zerny, and Clark are behind me throwing this huge balls around that keeps hitting my chair. I think I'm going to cut off their balls and put them in soup. See, that came from the top of my head, get it? Good...thanks everyone!